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The Happy Hoarder

Weekly hoarding tips for the apocalypse.

The Happy Hoarder

About The Happy Hoarder

The Happy Hoarder lives in a secret, undisclosed location where he and his family are cultivating a veritable warehouse full of humble goodies to make the coming collapse a little sweeter. You'll note the happy in The Happy Hoarder's name. Yes, hoarding can be an illness. But prepping for downturn is smart thinking, not crazy stuff. If you have an idea for The Happy Hoarder, store it up and send it along via our contact page.

The Happy Hoarder: Feed bag edition

By March 2, 2012
Canning Book Picture

Of all the things the Happy Hoarder fixes his sights on to prepare for the coming supply shocks, none is as important as his grub. Dinner. His vittles, victuals and chow. His slop, his refreshment, his provisions. His gustables, if you please. Frankly, the Happy Hoarder could think about just how he's going to get his foodstock in the aye-pock-oh-lypse all day long because he likes to do his self some eating. That's right. Don't be a fool Now, you remember that scene in Cormac McCarthy's … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Arts, Food, Products Tagged With: , , , , ,

The Happy Hoarder: Waxing poetic

By February 20, 2012
Candles

You may have noticed that The Happy Hoarder has a thing for being able to see in the dark. I'd hoard solar if I could afford the dang stuff. Ironic, then, that the sun is free. Well, I'll get me some panels one of these days because it's like that fancy-pants finance guy Chris Martenson says; in the post peak oil world the difference between no energy at all — say, no electric lights and all that — and even 10% energy is like the difference between the stone age and civilization. I … [Read more...]

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The Happy Hoarder: Fire in the belly

By January 19, 2012
Fire

If there's one thing that stirs the Happy Hoarder's anxiety it's wondering where my sources of heat and light are going to come from in the post-peak fall. Candles don't just light themselves my friend, fire doesn't grow on trees, and I'm no Ben Franklin. Anyway, I need my keys to keep my hoarded treasures safe. So I started myself to thinking a long while back, "What sources of flame will I need to ignite the twigs to heat my storm kettle, light my backyard brick oven, or kindle the … [Read more...]

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The Happy Hoarder: Put a cork in it

By January 12, 2012
Corks

In anxious anticipation of the coming apocalypse, The Happy Hoarder is constantly on the look out for alternative forms of currency, should it come to that. What can I use? Can I trade it? How can I get my hungry little mitts on it? These are the questions that keep the Happy Hoarder up at night. Now while you might think that as a hoarder I'd like to keep all my hoarding ideas to myself, nothing could be further from the truth. The Happy Hoarder is happy, after all, and happiness comes … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Arts Tagged With: , ,