The masculine, the feminine and the collapse of it all

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Photo: 1950sUnlimited/Flickr.

As modernity’s brief flight into the stratosphere of the industrial age begins its final descent, those who have not turned away from watching the inevitable hard landing will have few choices, but those who have chosen not to strap on the their oxygen masks and tighten their seatbelts will have fewer still.

Fear is a big part of why people choose to remain asleep before the unveiling of the greatest show on earth. But they will soon discover their paralyzing fear has not been their friend. On the other hand, those who have faced and conquered their fear wait calmly as a result of at least having some remaining options depending on how this all unfolds. How those choices will matter during the coming changes may be largely unknown, but the fate of those who wake up too late is very well known, indeed.

Being truly prepared for whatever may come, however, consists of a lot more than having a garden, some guns and ammo, and a year’s worth of food put away. While those individuals who do prepare that way are way ahead on parts of the game, every bit as important are the mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects of preparation.

War of the sexes

One of those aspects is doing our internal work around healing the deep wounds and shadows of the masculine and the feminine. Even in our present postmodern informational culture, many men and women are still at war with each other. The masculine denies the feminine, and the feminine denies the masculine. Not only is this war waged in the exterior realm between men and women, but it is also waged in the interior realms of each, mostly by denying one or the other of these two aspects of ourselves.

Over the last fifty years many women have become “over-masculinized” to compete in a “man’s world.” They have adapted their inner masculine to be “just like men,” and for many, the end result was that they adopted the only version of the masculine that was modeled for them: the Patriarchy.

At the same time, many postmodern men have adopted the softer, gentler, more caring aspects of their inner feminine, often because the masculine was so shamed that we denied even the healthy aspects of our masculine selves. Men need to integrate their healthy feminine and then re-integrate and reclaim the healthy aspects and fullness of the new masculine without shame and with a strong sense of purpose and their mission, so that both are on board and can be called on as needed as each moment arises.

When men and women, no matter what their sexual orientation, integrate their internal masculine and feminine essences, something magnificent happens: a “sacred marriage” of both aspects within us.

Speaking only for men, this sacred marriage is a quality that enables a man to open his heart without giving up his essential masculine essence – without going soft or being so much in his feminine that he loses the ability to penetrate the heart of his beloved. At the same time, he retains the ability to move between the masculine and feminine poles as needed in whatever moment arises, always with the intention of keeping the polarity, the tension between the opposites – the masculine and feminine – active and alive, always connected, always with the intention of giving the greatest gift the masculine can give the feminine: the ability to relax and to feel safe.

Likewise, the gift from the feminine to the masculine is the ability to keep our hearts open and not close down.

Two sexes are better than one

There is no doubt that men are playing catch up with the emotional work women have been doing over the last fifty years. Today, men are finally beginning this evolutionary process as it is required for the survival of the species. The feminine requires it so that, together, men and women can change the world in perfectly imperfect partnership through sacred union and conscious relationship. The Divine Feminine and the Sacred Masculine are waking up because the planet and our survival demand it.

This is part of our new initiation, and part of our new creation story.

Here’s the good news: If both partners are committed to the relationship and to spiritual growth, healing, and purpose, Conscious Relationship is one of the fastest ways to awaken. Conscious relationship can be learned and is ultimately mastery of our ability to stay present. We’re not in Conscious Relationship because we haven’t learned the tools, skills, and understandings that will help us transform our relationship into a safe, fulfilling, conscious one.

If more of us can just make that one shift, we will have made good use of the transition already begun, and will have helped birth a new human for a new earth.

Gary Stamper, Ph.D., is the founder of, where the original version of this article appeared and the author of Awakening the New Masculine.

— Gary Stamper, Transition Voice

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